Just A Mom

Why is it that once you start a family people seem to get the impression that your business is suddenly THEIR business.  Suddenly family, friends, co-workers, even strangers feel it is appropriate to ask you personal questions and then feel the need to emote their displeasure when they get an answer they don't approve of...

It starts during pregnancy.  The slew of questions begin pouring in: "Is this your first?" "Boy or Girl?"  "Are you going all natural?"  "Are you going to breast feed?" and on and on and on, until you give birth to your little one and the questions change a bit..."Are you going back to work?" "Oh, you're going to stay home?" "Are you having anymore?"  Then when you finally do decide to have another child the questions start all over again, with a few new ones added on, "You're having another one!?"  "This is it then right?  You're done?" and so on and so forth.

Now as many of you know I am a very open person and typically don't mind being asked these types of questions or answering them.  In fact, I was very open with all my pregnancies and if you wanted to know about my vaginal, drug free, deliveries then great. I'll give you all the details.  You ask, I tell.  BUT...

Recently I was presented with one question that sparked a nerve...

Today I had a doctor appointment at my primary care office.  The office I go to is an office that my mother worked at for about 10 years, so many of these people have known me since I was 7 or 8 years old.  I have Cooper with me and we check in, then my favorite (cough cough) nurse comes out to do my vitals and bring me back.  She always floods me with the same questions even though she knows the answers.  Last time I was there she asked, "So you're working right?" to which I of course replied, "No. I stay home."  She follows with, "Oh then you're in school right?" to which I again reply "No. I'm not in school." And her last statement, "Oh.  Then you're just a mom?"  My response of course, "No I am not JUST a mom."

Just because I don't work outside the home or go to school doesn't make me "just" a mom.  To be honest I never pictured myself as a stay-at-home-mom. Not that I didn't value the role of being a mother, but I just never pictured it that way.  I always assumed I would work outside the home and my kids when be in daycare.  That's just what I thought.  In fact, if daycare wasn't so expensive that's probably how it would be right now, but once we figured out the cost of daycare it just made more sense for me to stay home, which is what I did.  And to be even more honest it took a little getting used to.  Heck, somedays I'm still getting used to it LOL  But I am glad daycare is so expensive and I'm glad we made the decsion for me to stay home.  Although it wasn't what I anticipated I do believe it was/is ultimately what's best for my children and me even.  I've grown and changed a lot since becoming a mother.

Before I had babies I had everything planned out.  When I'd see kids acting up in grocery stores I'd think, "That won't be me.  That kid needs a good spanking.  That's all."  Now I'm the one in Wal-Mart when you have to peek around the next aisle to see who's kids are screaming and going bonkers. They're kids for Pete's sake. Let 'em have a little fun!  I used to think, "Oh I'll be so strict. I'll have a whole schedule. I'll have everything planned out."  Nope. I've learned there is very little that can be "planned out" when you have three young ones.  Baths happen whenever they get dirty.  Bedtime is whenever they're freaking out because of over exhaustion.  Breakfast is whatever is quick and easy.  Lunch is served sometime between 11am and 1pm depending on the days events.  I used to try to plan doctor's appointments around their nap or feeding schedule. Not anymore.  If they have to nap in the car, so be it. Eat on the run, so be it.  Oh and me being strict?  Never gonna happen.  I don't mind addressing my kids in a firm tone and yeah if we have a super hectic day I may even yell on occasion, but I do not like spanking one bit, and I honestly don't like "yelling" at my kids.  Now they'll get the 1-2-3 count in my mommy voice, but yelling at them. I don't like.  Never thought I'd be that way, but hey I am, and I like it.

There are lots of things I never thought I'd do.  Never thought we'd co-sleep, but I love it.  Never thought I'd let my two or three year old have a "baba", but I just didn't see the need to rip it away for them, and they're none the worse for it either LOL Never thought I'd let me kids run around naked or splash in mud puddles with their clothes on, but it's what I do. It's what makes me happy and what makes them happy, and that's all I'm worried about.

So no I'm not just a mom.  I am a very special and important person in my kids' lives, and all those special and important things I do get wrapped into one, short, three letter word...mom.

Mommy Quotes:

Any women can give birth, but it takes someone special to be a mother.

A mother is she who can take the place of all others, but whose place no one else can take. -Cardinal Mermillod

There is no way to be a perfect mother, but a million ways to be a good one. -Jill Churchill

Biology is the least of what makes someone a mother. -Oprah Winfrey

Some are kissing mothers and some are scolding mothers, but it is love just the same; and most mothers kiss and scold together. -Pearl S. Buck

The moment a child is born, the mother is also born. She never existed before.  The women existed, but the mother, never.  A mother is something absolutely new. -Rajneesh

Being a full-time mother is one of the highest salaried jobs in my field, since the payment is pure love. -Mildred B. Vermont

I know how to do anything. I'm a mom. -Roseanne Barr

I'd like to be the ideal mother, but I'm too busy raising my kids. -Unknown